Grief
by CatandKaraForever
Summary: The team is rocked with a sudden death, one that affects Lindsay more than anyone else. What will happen after this tragedy? Eventual Lindsay/Stella femslash, but not till later in the story.
1. Chapter 1

**Grief**

 **Fandom: CSI: NY**

 **Author: Ahsoka1248**

 **Rating: T  
Warning: Main character death.  
**

Stella and Lindsay ran across the rooftops, in pursuit of a murderer. Danny slammed into him from the side, but the killer knocked his gun away. The murderer punched him twice, then emptied his own gun at Danny. Every shot hit, and he pitched backwards, blood oozing from the wounds. He fell right over the edge of the roof.  
"DANNY!"

Lindsay fired repeatedly, three shots piercing the man's back, one his leg, and one the back of his head. He fell lifelessly to the ground, blood pooling around him. Lindsay holstered her pistol, and ran to the edge of the roof where Danny had gone over. She could see his body on the ground at the bottom of the building, blood spreading around him.

Lindsay leapt onto the fire escape, climbing down quickly, and ran to Danny's side. The building was high enough that Danny had been killed on impact, if not from the gunshots.  
"Danny," she sobbed., tears running down her face.

Stella ran to her side.

"Lindsay, I'm so sorry. What can I do to help?"  
Lindsay shook her head.

"There's nothing you can do to help."  
Stella dialed Mac, one hand still on Lindsay's shoulder, and her other hand shaking.

"Mac, it's Stella. Yes, yes I'm fine. It's Danny. Our suspect emptied his clip into Danny, and then Danny fell off the roof. He's dead."


	2. Chapter 2

**Grief**

 **Fandom: CSI: NY**

 **Author: Ahsoka1248**

 **Rating: T  
Warning: Main character death.  
**

Stella sat beside Lindsay at the funeral, gently holding the younger woman's hand.

"Detective Danny Messer was a good man, and a good detective, even if he tended to follow his intuition, rather than the evidence. I also know he was a good husband and a good father. He was a good friend, and I think we'll all miss him dearly, most of all his wife Lindsay Monroe. He was killed in the line of duty attempting to stop a murderer," Mac said from the podium, "Lindsay?"

Lindsay rose, tears in her eyes as Stella squeezed her hand one last time. She replaced Mac on the step.

"Danny was the perfect husband and father for me and our daughter Lucy. I will miss him dearly, and there's not much for me to say."

* * *

 _Three Hours Later..._

Stella had volunteered to stay with Lindsay overnight, in the interest of being a friend, so she was sleeping on the couch in the apartment Danny and Lindsay had formerly shared. She woke to gentle sobbing, and walked into where Lindsay was sitting on the bed, head in her hands. She sat down beside Lindsay.

"Hey, what's up?"  
"I couldn't sleep. I keep having visions of Danny going down on that roof."  
Lindsay turned to face Stella, then pressed her lips to Stella's. The older woman deepened the kiss, and they fell onto the bed together, still kissing.


	3. Chapter 3

**Grief**

 **Fandom: CSI: NY**

 **Author: Ahsoka1248**

 **Rating: T  
Warning: Main character death.  
**

Stella woke in Lindsay's bed with Lindsay's bare arms wrapped around her. She glanced at herself, and found herself nude. She slid carefully and quietly out of the bed, realizing what had happened the night before. She hummed quietly as she quickly pulled on the clothes she had worn the night before and walked out of the bedroom, running her fingers through her curly hair. She made herself a cup of coffee and sat down at the table. A few minutes later as she sipped her coffee Lindsay walked out, a half-frown on her face.

"Good morning, Stella."  
"Morning, Lindsay. About last night..."

"I know, Stella. It was a mistake. It could mess up our work relationship, and I don't want that. I mean, I was never concerned about that with Danny, because well, with Danny it was a normal relationship. But with you... I don't know what's going to happen now."

"Lindsay, it's alright. Last night was great, but, at least for now, we need to go back to our normal relationship. But I don't think it was a mistake. I can't really say what it was. But it wasn't a mistake, in my eyes. I can understand you feeling that way, though."

Lindsay nodded.  
"Okay. That's fine."

Stella's phone rang.

"Detective Bonasera. Right. I'm on my way."

Lindsay's phone rang a moment after as Stella grabbed her coat and walked outside. They jumped in Lindsay's car and drove to the crime scene.


	4. Chapter 4

**Grief**

 **Fandom: CSI: NY**

 **Author: Ahsoka1248**

 **Rating: T  
Warning: Main character death.  
**

Stella knocked on the door of Mac's office.  
"Hey Mac. I need to talk to you."  
"Okay. Come in, shut the door," he said carefully, "what's going on?"  
She shut the door and sat down.  
"I feel like I may have made a mistake."  
"What's up?"  
"As you know, I've had feelings for Lindsay. Last night, when I went to her apartment after the funeral, we had a...I guess you could call it a one-night stand. She thinks it was a mistake, but I don't. The problem is, I don't want it to be just one night. I want to ask her out on a date, but I'm also afraid I'll mess up our professional relationship. After last night, I realized I am in love with her, but I also want her to be a friend. What do I do?"  
"Stella. Give her time. She knows you have feelings for her, right?"  
"Yes."

"Let her grieve. In time, if she's interested in you that way, she'll come to you."  
"Thank you, Mac. That's helpful," she said sincerely.

"And, good luck with her," he added with a smile.

"Thank you," she said again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Grief**

 **Fandom: CSI: NY**

 **Author: Ahsoka1248**

 **Rating: T  
Warning: Main character death. Warning: Suggestive content  
**

 **God, I love Stinsey (Stella/Lindsay). I know it's a rare pairing, but that just makes it even better. I hope you guys are loving this story so far. I know I'm having a lot of fun writing this story.**

Two months passed after the one-night stand Stella had with Lindsay, before the younger woman dared make a move. She approached Stella.  
"Stella, would you like to go out with me? Like on a date?"  
Stella's heart soared, because the fact that Lindsay was asking her out meant that she was interested in her.

"Yes, Lindsay, I'd love that," she said honestly.

* * *

 _Two Days Later..._

Stella sat down in front of Lindsay, wearing a glimmering black dress that accentuated her curves. Lindsay was wearing a glimmering blue dress.

"You look gorgeous, Lindsay," Stella said after she recovered from the breathtaking sight of her date.

"Thanks, Stel. You look stunning yourself."

Three hours later, Stella stood next to Lindsay outside her new girlfriend's apartment.

"I had an amazing time tonight. Thank you, Lindsay," the taller woman said before the shorter woman leaned up on her tippy-toes and kissed her very softly on the lips.

"I love you, Stella," Lindsay said against Stella's neck.

The sensation of Lindsay's warm breath against the sensitive skin of Stella's neck made the Greek woman moan very softly, almost imperceptibly. But Lindsay still noticed, and she smiled.

"You like that?"  
Her whisper made Stella feel a familiar sensation. She kissed Lindsay full on the mouth and then they went through the door of Lindsay's apartment, still kissing.


	6. Chapter 6

**Grief**

 **Fandom: CSI: NY**

 **Author: Ahsoka1248**

 **Rating: T  
Warning: Main character death. Warning: Suggestive content  
**

Stella woke early to her phone ringing, Stella's arms wrapped around the smaller woman. Stella groaned as she snatched her ringing phone from the bedside table, where she had set it the night before.

"Detective Bonasera," she said quietly, "I see. Right. I'm on my way."  
She hung up on Mac and groaned, running her fingers through her curly brown hair. She put an arm on Lindsay's shoulder and put her mouth to her girlfriend's ear.

"Wake up, Linds."

"Whaa? It's too early, Stella," she groaned out, half-glaring at her girlfriend.

"Sorry, Lindsay. We've got a case."

Lindsay sighed.

* * *

 _One Hour Later..._

Stella and Lindsay climbed out of Lindsay's car. Don raised an eyebrow as they approached.

"You look tired," Mac said to Stella, glancing up from the body of a young blonde woman.

"Yeah, I was with Lindsay all night, and we didn't get much sleep, if you catch my drift," she said quietly so the officers that weren't part of the team wouldn't hear.  
"I take it your date went well, then?"  
"Yes. What do we have?"  
"22 year old Jane Wilcox. Works at that restaurant," Mac said, pointing, "Multiple stab wounds to the back and side, also severe blunt force trauma to the head."  
"Hmm, what's this? Looks like an engagement ring. She have a boyfriend? Or maybe girlfriend?"

"We're trying to get ahold of the vic's mom, see if she knows anything. There's nothing in her wallet about a partner, though. No pictures. There's no phone either. Also, our vic has no money in her wallet, so maybe it's a robbery, but I don't think it is. I think either our vic had no money even before she was attacked, or our killer took the money with them."

"Any witnesses?"  
"Yeah. The manager of the restaurant, who found her, said she was on her 15 minute break. When she didn't return after half an hour, he called her, got no answer. He was going to her car to see if she was still lingering, and found her body right here."  
Mac's phone rang. After a moment when he hung up, he spoke.

"Mrs. Wilcox is at the station now," he said.

"Right. We'll go interview her."


	7. Chapter 7

**Grief**

 **Fandom: CSI: NY**

 **Author: Ahsoka1248**

 **Rating: T  
Warning: Main character death**

"Mrs. Wilcox, I'm Detective Stella Bonasera, and this is Detective Lindsay Monroe. I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thank you, Detective. Am I right in assuming you two are dating?"  
Stella exchanged a brief glance with Lindsay.  
"I'm sorry if that was out of line," Mrs. Wilcox said.

"Technically it is, but it's fine. Yes, we are dating. How did you know?"  
"You had all the mannerisms of a couple."  
"Uh, right...So, anyway let's get started. Mrs. Wilcox, was there anyone who would want to hurt your daughter?"

"The only person I can think of is Craig Jameson. By the end of Jane's relationship with him, he was abusive. But he wouldn't have been able to kill her, because he's in jail."

"To the best of your knowledge, did Jane have a fiancé?"

"No. As far as I knew, she didn't have a fiancé, but she was dating this wonderful girl by the name Anna. Anna Winters, I believe it was," Mrs. Wilcox said, "But Anna would never hurt anyone. Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Why'd you ask if she had a fiancé?"

"She was wearing an engagement ring when we found her body, Mrs. Wilcox."

"They must have gotten engaged since I last talked to her. There's no way she would have withheld that from me."

"Thank you for your time, Mrs. Wilcox. You're free to go. Sorry for your loss."

Stella and Lindsay stepped out of the interrogation room as Sheldon approached.

"Got something from the vic's phone, which was in her purse, found in a trash can several feet away. Anyway, there's a number listed to a James. No last name, no address, but it says he's her manager. There is no James working at the restaurant, so I'm thinking she had a side job. Maybe we need to talk to this James guy."


	8. Chapter 8

**Grief**

 **Fandom: CSI: NY**

 **Author: Ahsoka1248**

 **Rating: T  
Warning: Main character death**

Stella smiled flirtatiously at her girlfriend as they walked into the apartment they shared. The lights were all off when they entered, which was surprising because they were on when they'd left. A floorboard creaked near the door, but a little bit ahead of them. Stella drew her gun, and with one hand gently pushed Lindsay behind her, accidentally brushing one of Lindsay's breasts as she did. Stella flicked on the lights with one hand as she swept her gun across the apartment. She gasped as the lights came on.  
"MERRY CHRISTMAS, LINDSAY AND STELLA," several voices shouted at the same time as Lindsay emerged from behind Stella.

Don, Jessica Angell, Sheldon, Adam, and Mac were standing in front of them, having emerged from behind the massive Christmas tree in the center of the apartment. The tree Stella and Lindsay had selected was gone, no doubt removed and replaced with the tree that was present. Mac was wearing a Santa outfit, and everyone else was dressed as elves. Stella holstered her pistol with a chuckle.

"I have to admit, I was worried for a second there," she said, "the lights being off when I clearly remembered leaving them on when we left, and that creak of the floorboards ahead of us...that had me concerned. I thought there was someone here to attack us."

Lindsay slipped her hand into Stella's.  
"I wasn't worried at all, Stel. Although, I did think your protectiveness was cute."

Lindsay kissed Stella very softly on the lips.

"Did you have something to do with this, Linds?"

"Maybe... You'll just have to wait and see, like everyone else, now won't you...?"

"What's going on, Lindsay?"

"Well aren't you the persistent one? Fine. I WAS planning to wait until the end of the night, but I guess I'll try my luck now."

Stella's eyes narrowed, as Lindsay backed away from her a tiny bit. Her girlfriend crouched down on one knee, then pulled a box from behind her.

"Stella Bonasera, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Stella could have sworn she felt her heart stop beating for a few seconds, and she could hear herself let out a gasp.  
"Yes, yes. Of course I will, Linds!"

Lindsay rose, slipping the ring onto her new fiancé's finger and kissing her softly.

"God, I love you Stella Bonasera. Or is it Stella Monroe?"

"Hmm. Stella Monroe. I like the sound of that, but what about Lindsay Bonasera?"  
"Hmm. I like the sound of that one myself. We'll just have to figure out which one it is, won't we?"

 **I hope you like this story. I kind of felt like Lindsay came out a bit cheesy on that one, and that maybe they're rushing things, but I also love how this came out. If there's something I can do to improve it, feel free to let me know.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Grief**

 **Fandom: CSI: NY**

 **Author: Ahsoka1248**

 **Rating: T**

Stella walked up the stairs to the apartment she shared with Lindsay at 3 am one day. The hallway was darker than usual, but Stella just assumed a light had gone out and the superintendent either didn't know or hadn't gotten around to fixing it. Suddenly a shiver of fear went up her spine for no reason, and she looked around, hand dropping to the butt of her pistol.

"Is someone there?"

The only answer was total silence in the hallway, and Stella's eyes narrowed, then she shook her head.  
"I must just be imagining things," she muttered before turning back to unlock the door.

Pain erupted in the back of her head and she blacked out.

* * *

"Stella?"  
Lindsay moved to the door, having heard Stella's voice on the other side. She opened it, and called out.

"Stella? I know you're out there. This isn't funny."

When Stella didn't answer, she snatched her pistol from its shelf, starting to think something was wrong. She checked to make sure it was loaded, and walked out.

"Stella?"  
"Is something wrong, Lindsay? What's going on?"  
Her neighbor seemed concerned.

"Have you seen Stella?"

"Yeah, she was just right here. I said hi as she went by."

"Did you see where she went?"  
"She was about to go in your apartment. What's wrong?"  
"She's missing. She didn't come in."  
Lindsay looked around, and spotted what looked like blood on the floor.

"Oh no. I think someone's kidnapped Stella. There's blood."

 **To be Continued...**


	10. Chapter 10

**Grief**

 **Fandom: CSI: NY**

 **Author: Ahsoka1248**

 **Rating: T**

 ** _Previously in Grief:_**

 _Stella walked up the stairs to the apartment she shared with Lindsay at 3 am one day. The hallway was darker than usual, but Stella just assumed a light had gone out and the superintendent either didn't know or hadn't gotten around to fixing it. Suddenly a shiver of fear went up her spine for no reason, and she looked around, hand dropping to the butt of her pistol._

 _"Is someone there?"_

 _The only answer was total silence in the hallway, and Stella's eyes narrowed, then she shook her head._  
 _"I must just be imagining things," she muttered before turning back to unlock the door._

 _Pain erupted in the back of her head and she blacked out._

 _"Stella?"_  
 _Lindsay moved to the door, having heard Stella's voice on the other side. She opened it, and called out._

 _"Stella? I know you're out there. This isn't funny."_

 _When Stella didn't answer, she snatched her pistol from its shelf, starting to think something was wrong. She checked to make sure it was loaded, and walked out._

 _"Stella?"_  
 _"Is something wrong, Lindsay? What's going on?"_  
 _Her neighbor seemed concerned._

 _"Have you seen Stella?"_

 _"Yeah, she was just right here. I said hi as she went by."_

 _"Did you see where she went?"_  
 _"She was about to go in your apartment. What's wrong?"_  
 _"She's missing. She didn't come in."_  
 _Lindsay looked around, and spotted what looked like blood on the floor._

 _"Oh no. I think someone's kidnapped Stella. There's blood."_

Lindsay pulled her phone from her pocket, and dialed Mac.  
"Mac, it's Lindsay. Sorry to call so late, but we've got a problem. I think Stella's been kidnapped."  
"Calm down, Lindsay. Did she have her phone with her the last time you saw her?"  
"Yes. She went to the store to get some eggs. She took her phone so that I could call her if I thought of something else we needed. I know she made it home because I heard her outside our apartment."

* * *

 _One Year Later..._

One year passed with Stella still missing and no leads as to her location. Stella's job had been taken over by a former FBI agent by the name of Jo Danville. Then one day something happened.

"Lindsay, can I talk to you?"

"Sure, Mac. What's up?"  
"The ballistics just came in from that murder. The Williams case?"

"Yeah? What's up?"  
"The slug that killed our vic came back a match to the slug that killed Frankie Mala."

"Frankie Mala. I know that name from somewhere. Who is Frankie Mala?"

"Stella's ex-boyfriend. The one she broke up with because he uploaded footage of them to the internet. The one who attacked her, causing her to shoot him in self-defense."

"Oh, him. Are you saying Stella killed our vic?"  
"That's not what I'm saying at all, Lindsay. What I'm saying is Stella's gun was used to kill her. Meaning we have a lead."


End file.
